Blog title...50 Cent Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson In New Songs

50 Cent Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson In New Songs

'Rest in peace to Michael Jackson,' Fif says in one of two dropped Friday morning. By Shaheem Reid

50 Cent Photo: MTV News

50 Cent is the first artist to pay tribute to Michael Jackson in song since the King of Pop died Thursday. Fif released the first two records from his mixtape Forever King on Friday (June 26) morning.

The first, "Respect It or Check It N---a," is vintage hard-core 50. He talks about coming up in the streets as a youngster and how he has evolved, and adds at the end, "Rest in peace to Michael Jackson ... You n---as need me, man. I might have to start moonwalking. A couple of dance moves and sh--, might be some sh-- called 'Billie Jean Is My Lover.' I'm back, n---a!"

The second song is called "Where You Are," and it takes directly from Jackson's historic catalog. The G-Unit General raps over the 1972 track "I Wanna Be Where You Are."

"They say I ain't lyrical, they say I ain't a miracle. I say some hard sh--, so they say I ain't spiritual," the self-proclaimed King of Rap rhymes. "They act like they know God better than me/ I know 'God Allah,' he used to pump crack up the streets."

50 goes on to vent about those in the 'hood doubting him because of his over-the-top financial status. The Southside, Queens, native then gives way to the King of Pop, and we hear Jackson's timeless vocals.

"Can it be I stayed away too long?/ Did I leave your mind when I was gone?/ It's not my thing trying to get back/ But this time let me tell you where I'm at/ You don't have to worry 'cause I'm coming/ Back to where I should have always stayed/ And now I've heard the maybe to your story/ And it's enough love for me to stay."

Don't miss "A Celebration of Michael Jackson on MTV," airing at 6 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.

Share your Michael Jackson memories by uploading video and comments to Your.MTV.com or joining the discussion below.

Related Videos

• 50 Cent's Musical Michael Jackson Tribute

Related Artists

• Michael Jackson
  
• 50 Cent

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Cant get to sleep.. going on 5am..

Halle Berry’s Guys Choice Awards Speech (Makes Out With Jamie Foxx)

Full Article: http://ping.fm/UpTTR

Astrological After-sex Comments

Astrological After-sex Comments

Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"                              <<<<<YUMM YUMM
Taurus: "I'm hungry pass the pizza."
Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"                                     <<<<<Yup one nighter Oh yeah
Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."                       <<<<<<<<<Married, MOVING ON 
Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."                              <<<<<RUNNNNNNNNNNNN
Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."                  <<<<< NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sagittarius: "Don't call me I'll call you."                  <<<<<GRRRRRRRRRRRR
Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"
Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"
Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"  <<<<<<lol Go Pisce

On the menu

On the menu

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
---------------------------------
Cheese Sandwich $ 1.50
Chicken Sandwich $ 2.50
Hand Job $10.00
---------------------------------
Checking his wallet he finds one single ten dollar bill.
He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am!"
The man replies "Well go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

View Original Link

How many babies?

How many babies?

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, "Congratulations, sir. You're the father of twins!"
"What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!"
Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second father on the birth of his triplets.
"Wow! That's incredible! I work for the 3M Corporation."
An hour later, the nurse returned to congratulate the third man on the
birth of his quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"
After this, everyone turned to the fourth guy who had just fainted. The nurse rushed to his side. As he slowly gained consciousness, they could hear him mutter over and over, "I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job...."

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Scotsman at a baseball game

Scotsman at a baseball game

A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....Run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"
The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!"
All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."
After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!

View Original Link

Answering Machine...

Answering Machine...
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I
should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

Quotes...

Quotes...
A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a
typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind
and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it
about. (from Mostly Harmless) - Douglas Adams

A friend is a present you give to yourself. - Robert Louis Stevenson .. Shwana = and some presents not required...

Happy dads day

Your personality

Money for

Money for panties

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day.
As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.

The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."

The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.

Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.

As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.

The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.

The priest hands the lady $1 and says...
"Lady, take this money and for God's sake, go buy yourself a razor!"
View Original Link Unmentionables

The cruise

The cruise

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.

They searched for days and couldn't find her. So the captain sent the old man home with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the ship.
It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife had died in the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and found an oyster attached to her butt. Inside it was a pearl worth $50,000.
Please advise?"

The old man faxed back: Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!
View Original Link Cruise

50 Cent Nabs 'Jerkyll and Hyde' Role - ARTISTdirect News

50 Cent Nabs 'Jerkyll and Hyde' Role

Mon, 18 May 2009 10:15:17

Right alongside Forest Whitaker

50 Cent Nabs 'Jerkyll and Hyde' Role

Forest Whitaker and 50 Cent have been tapped as the lead roles in a modern update on The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Dubbed Jekyll and Hyde, it's being produced by Brett Walsh of Glasshouse Pictures and Randall Emmett of Cheetah Vision Films.


"The combination of such formidable talent in front of and behind the camera," executive producer Luc Roeg told Variety, "will turn this wonderful gothic story into a modern classic for a whole new generation."

View Original Source
—The ARTISTdirect Staff

05.18.09

HAPPY HOLIDAY.

Or What?

A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn’t had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doc asks her what’s wrong, and why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband anymore.

The wife tells him, “For the past 6 months, every morning I take a cab to work. I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me, ‘So are you going to pay today or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’. When I get to work I’m late so the boss asks me, ‘So are we going to write this down in the book or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’.

Back home again I take the cab and again I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me again, ‘So are you going to pay this time or what?’ so again I take a ‘or what’. So you see doc when I get home I’m all tired out, and I don’t want it any more.”

The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, “So are we going to tell your husband or what?”

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. My Stomach Hurts A man with a bad stomach ache goes to his...
2. The Delivery A married couple went to the hospital together to have...
3. Birthday Suit A wife was begining to worry about her and her...
   View Original Article

Study Ball brings seriously old school methods to child rearing

You can try using positive reinforcement to get your kids to study. But what if that doesn't work? Well then, it's time to try some more medieval methods.

The study ball is a literal ball and chain that comes equipped with a timer. Simply set how long you want your little miscreant to study and attach the ball to their ankle. When the time is up, it'll unlock, allowing them to leave their rooms. Until then, however, it's study time. Or trying to run out of a burning house with a ball and chain time, but let's just hope that doesn't happen.

Curiosite via Gizmodo

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Hi George!

A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her

company at home.

She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it

wouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it would be fun

to hear it speak. She went to a pet shop and immediately

spotted a large beautiful parrot.



She went to the owner of the store and asked how much.

The owner said it was $50. Delighted that such a rare looking

and beautiful bird wasn't more expensive, she agreed to buy it.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first

that this bird used to live in a whorehouse. Sometimes it says

pretty vulgar stuff."



The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the

bird. She said she would buy it anyway.

The petshop owner sold her the bird and she took it home.

She hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it

to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her,

and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought

that's not so bad.

A couple hours later, the woman's two teenage daughters returned

from school. When they inspected the bird, it looked at them and

said, "New house, new madam, new whores."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended at first, but than

began to laugh about the situation. A couple of hours later, the

woman's husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and

said, "New house, new madam, new whores, Hi George!"
View Original Article

The cats diary

The cats diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan ......

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

Source: http://ping.fm/JYcr5

Cowboy Boots

Cowboy Boots

An elderly couple is vacationing in the West.

Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.

Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them back to the hotel, walking proudly.

He walks into their hotel room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Helen?"

Helen looks him over, "Nope."

Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Helen, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?"

Helen looks again, "Nope."

Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots.

Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything
DIFFERENT?"

Helen looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, HELEN? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"

To which Helen replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam, shoulda bought a hat."

Original Source: http://ping.fm/UmqNk

BEAM ME UP SCOtTy

Work...
Words are powerful things. They can make someone feel ten feet
tall, or two inches small. Choose your words wisely and well.

I'd love to live life in the fast lane... unfortunately, I'm
married to a speedbump. (lmao) did i copy that?

Has Amazon Started a Price War?

Has Amazon Started a Price War?
Thursday April 9, 2009

This week, the iTunes Store started selling its 10 million+ songs without DRM copy protection (aka iTunes Plus) and introduced its new variable pricing structure. Operating at three pricing levels, you can purchase a song for $0.79, $0.99, or $1.29 depending on factors such as a song's age and popularity. The problem is, if you want to purchase a top 100 track, you'll now have to pay $1.29 instead of $0.99. You may argue that the extra 30 cents is worth it for a DRM-free track, and you'd probably have a good point - until you check out Amazon's prices.

In the highly competitive music downloads market, Amazon has ensured that the cost of most of its popular selling tracks are below the asking price of the iTunes Store. At the time of writing, Black Eyed Peas 'Boom Boom Pow' single for example is 30 cents cheaper if purchased from Amazon MP3. Another top selling single, Blame It (Featuring T. Pain) by Jamie Foxx, can also be downloaded from the Amazon MP3 store for 99 cents compared to $1.29 from the iTunes Store.

Wal-Mart also has a pricing structure that is more competitive than Apple. Songs can be purchased using their 3-tier system for $0.64, $0.94, and $1.24. How long before other music services feel the strain and join in on the looming price war
Source: http://ping.fm/wmJZk

Idiot rescue

Idiot rescue

Once upon a time there were two men who had gone cliff climbing.
Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. The other man frantically screamed, "Roger!", and was relieved to hear a faint reply.

"Okay Rodge," shouted Barry, "I'm gonna throw a rope down to you, so wrap it 'round one of your legs and.." but before he could finish, he heard Roger call "But both my legs are broke."

Barry suggested his arms, to which the reply was "They're broken too!" So finally, Roger held on with his mouth. Barry struggled to pull up the rope, and when he was nearly there, Barry said, "You right there mate?" to which Rodger replied,"YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS........"
View Original
http://ping.fm/mZ2Rm

How can U tell da rain not 2 fall when clouds exist?

How can U tell da leaves not 2 fall when wind exist?

How can U tell me not 2 fall in frndship when U exist.

View Original Article

Stimulus spurs growth in green jobs

Experts agree that green jobs are real, they�re nationwide and they�re multiplying. There are 750,000 to 4 million green jobs available in America � and the sector is growing quickly.

View Original Article

Story continues below ?

2Funny...

Check this out:

Larry Flynt, owner and publisher of the US pornographic

magazine "Hustler" has publicly offered Kenneth Starr a

job</div><p><a href="http://ping.fm/L2wpY">View Original Article</a></p>

�DREAMS visit us when we r asleep� but GOD is truly wise�. He wakes us up each day & gives us every chance 2 make our DREAMS come true!

View Original Article

Ciara Talks Steamy 'Love Sex Magic' Video With Justin Timberlake 'I had to lick his ear and do all that fun stuff,' singer says of track from Fantasy Ride

NEW YORK � As if Justin Timberlake weren't already one of the luckiest guys in the world, he had to "suffer" through grueling take after take during Ciara's steamy video shoot for "Love Sex Magic."



"Let me tell you � it's so funny, I have to say this," Ciara said to MTV News over the weekend. "I had to lick his ear and do all that fun stuff and bite it. And he had a moment where he was kind of licking on my neck. We were both going back and forth. We were really just freestyling. And Miss Diane [Martel, the director] wanted something edgy, and we all wanted to find a cool way to do it. And that just felt right.



"It was really funny because you would have moments where she would go, 'What we're gonna do now is the licking and the kissing on the neck and we're gonna do this take, then cut. OK, we need one more take of that,' " Ciara continued. "And so it's licking on the neck, again, then his biting on my neck, again. It was really funny."



The fellas might not exactly be cracking up at JT's misfortune, but Ciara said the entire experience of working with Timberlake was by far one of the best of her young career. Timberlake, who is featured on the song, also co-produced "Love Sex Magic" � from her Fantasy Ride LP, out Tuesday (May 5) � and had a hand in writing the number. Ciara said she rarely has a chance to actually venture into the studio to collaborate with artists; usually, the opportunity for a guest to contribute arises after she's recorded a song.



"I actually went into the studio to make the record from scratch, or he had the record there for me, but us being together was a very rare case I've had over the years," she explained. "It was really, really fun. He's very passionate about the work and down to earth. His attitude is just amazing.



"I was very excited about sprinkling that flavor on the album, because this record is about sharing the many sides of me and I wanted to make sure there was something for everybody on it and that record is another reflection of where I'm at [right now]."

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Swine Flu Survival Kit: 5 essential websites

Swine flu seems to be popping up all over the globe, and so is information (and misinformation) about it. Cooler heads prevail here at DVICE, where we've decided to use the power of technology and the Web to help us survive the deadly outbreak.

Here's where to find reliable information, and where not to go for updates:

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50 Cent/ Fall Out Boy Tour Is Off To An Uneven Start

50 has performed at one of three scheduled gigs so far.
By James Montgomery

50 Cent


Photo: Jordan Strauss/WireImage

It seemed like an odd pairing from the day it was announced: 50 Cent and Fall Out Boy, sharing the stage for a spring tour. And so far, things have played out a little unevenly.

Fif, who was scheduled to appear at a total of five dates on FOB's Believers Never Die, Part Deux Tour, has made it to the stage for just one of the three gigs that have already taken place. After appearing in Dallas on Friday, he pulled out of Wednesday night's show in Orlando, Florida, due to "scheduling conflicts," and although the other date thus far � April 18 in Houston � was canceled due to inclement weather, some are speculating that 50 has dropped off the tour altogether.

So we reached out to Fall Out Boy's and 50 Cent's camps to find out what's up.

"He played the first date [April 17 in Dallas] ... then we had to cancel the whole show in Houston, but I saw him there too," FOB's Pete Wentz told MTV News in an e-mail. "[The Orlando show] was canceled due to studio obligations. From what I currently know, he'll be back for the others. It surprised me how easygoing he and his crew was. They put on a great show and the crowd was screaming the whole time."

FOB manager Bob McLynn added in an e-mail, "He's doing all the dates. He had to cancel Orlando at the last minute because he had to get back into the studio. He was there in Houston, but we had electrical storms and because it was outdoors the whole show was canceled. He will be at the remaining shows."

At press time, a spokesperson for 50 Cent's label, Interscope Records, could not be reached for comment on the tour.

The two remaining 50 Cent/ Fall Out Boy shows are a Friday-night gig at the deliciously-named Bojangles Coliseum in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the following night at the Merriweather Post Pavilion in Columbia, Maryland.

Related Artists

• 
  50 Cent
  


• 
  Fall Out Boy
  

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CIARA'S HEIGHT SCARES OFF MEN

<p></p><div><p><img src="http://ping.fm/Y8gtO*VkLsfF0zgM-w1Gflmt1Scry/ciara_2386491.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="621" /></p>




According to Contactmusic.com, �R&B singer CIARA is worried she won't find a man - because of her height.



The Goodies star stands at more than 5ft 9in (1.55 metres), towering over most men she comes across.



And she's scared that her domineering height frightens off potential suitors.



She says, "Some guys are nervous about speaking to me. Maybe it's because I'm five foot nine-and-a-half. Since I've been doing music I don't really get asked out much."�</div><p><a href="http://ping.fm/FuR5K">View Original Article</a></p>

50 Cent & Chace Crawford in the NY Post

<p></p><div><p><img src="http://ping.fm/BrBzi*fDjpb4FfOfvSkFWz5D2ELl5LIgR51CGISWahUeM9GOcpAfzbDOC0Mn6e-g2hX97vq09u3KCFpH58UdFo9Q1Wgfglza/post.JPG" alt="" width="600" height="401" /></p>


50 Cent and "Gossip Girl" star, Chace Crawford hang out on location in New York while filming their new movie "Twelve."



<p><img src="http://ping.fm/lhBRY*km3ClQtdNBAiABQDeRraeBtml9ejsOuMktzf2ka8MbYKw0Qr/50_chace.jpg" alt="" width="278" height="219" /></p></div><p><a href="http://ping.fm/IqiWB">View Original Article</a></p>

Obama touts 'new foundation'

President Barack Obama marks his 100th day in office by laying the groundwork for a �New Foundation for growth� that would support a recession-wracked economy �built on a pile of sand.�

View Original Article

Before watching Lost's 100th episode tonight, check out 15 other sci-fi milestones

Tonight, the TV show Lost hits the milestone of its 100th episode. Few sci-fi TV shows manage to reach 100 episodes�for example, even the long-running Quantum Leap only made it to 96�but when they do, we always look forward to it. The cast and crew will often have a big party, and the viewers are usually given a special episode to enjoy, something with stunt casting or major plot developments.

But that wasn't always the case. The 100th episode of The Twilight Zone was Ray Bradbury's "I Sing the Body Electric" (May 18, 1962) but nothing special was done for it, possibly because the program was an anthology show. Neither were the 100th episodes of Bewitched (March 9, 1967) or I Dream of Jeannie (January 6, 1969) anything special. The 100th serial of the original Doctor Who, "Stones of Blood," (October-November 1978) almost had a scene with a cake to celebrate the Doctor's 751st birthday, but in the end the show runners felt that it would be too self-indulgent to acknowledge the milestone.

Times have changed, however, and in the 1990s, sci-fi series began to offer special 100th episodes. Here, in chronological order, are 15 of sci-fi's most memorable 100th episodes:

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FluGen creates a painless gadget for delivering swine flu vaccine

There might be a Swine Flu shot in the near future for you, but who wants to get stabbed by a sharp needle? It makes us dizzy just thinking about it. But help could be on the way. The brainiacs at FluGen figured out a way to deliver vaccine just under the skin, and not into the muscle, which is what hurts so much.

This nifty disposable micro device is a Swine Flu fighter that's about the size of a poker chip, and with a quick button press, its tiny pump sends the vaccine into a set of micro needles that are barely embedded into the top layer of your skin. You can hardly feel them.

While not the first idea of its type, FluGen's version is probably going to become reality soon, given the current Swine Flu outbreak. Even better news is that for some reason, this type of multi-pronged shallow injection is more effective against the flu. Also, more people will probably show up for the shot, since it's allegedly painless. Good timing � bring it on.

Via Reuters

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Kids....

A man and his son were traveling to the bank one Saturday
morning when they stopped at a corner. The little boy hearing a
"Beep..Beep..Beep" asked his dad where the sound was coming
from.

His dad replied that the sound was coming from a nearby dump
truck that was backing up and that sound was to warn people
behind it to get out of the way.

When they arrived at the bank the lines were long (as usual)
and so they got into one of the lines behind a rather large
lady.

All of a sudden another man's beeper started to go off and the
little boy with fear in his eyes said "Look out dad she's
backing up!"

Syringe USB drive is one way to store your data

Told'Cha Myshwana Was Alien.. Now untold secrets...

People love their wacky USB drives, don't they? And why shouldn't they? I mean, most computers don't have a ton of personality to separate them from what everybody else is using, so you might as well get accessories that help you stand out from the crowd.

One such accessory is this Syringe Flash Drive. It's a bit questionable, but hey, I'm not one to judge your ever-important computer peripheral choices. So if you want to show the world that you're into injections as well as convenient data storage, here you go.

Brando via Book of Joe

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Jay-Z: The Day Obama Got Elected, The Gangsta Became Less Relevant.

“Obama represents so much hope for blacks and Latinos. The hope he represents is bigger than any of the huge problems he could possibly correct,” he said. “When you have positive role models, you can change your life for the better. The day Obama got elected, the gangsta became less relevant.”

Source: Cigar Aficionado Magazine

View Original Article

Eminem - 3 A.M.

New one from Eminem titled 3 A.M. which is said to be the second single off Relapse, check it out and give us your feedback.

I don’t know about this one y’all…..Lyrics are there but I don’t know about everything else.

Download:Eminem - 3 A.M.

View Original Article

Military...
When in doubt empty the magazine.

Politics...
"Economics is an entire scientific discipline of not knowing
what you're talking about."

Opposite twins

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance

to each other was their looks. If one felt it
was too hot, the other thought it was too cold.
If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed
the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in
every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other
a doom & gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on the twins'
birthday their father loaded the pessimist's
room with every imaginable toy and game. The
optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.


That night the father passed by the pessimist's
room and found him sitting amid his new gifts
crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have
to read all these instructions before I can do
anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need
batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken,"
answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father
found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure.
"What are you so happy about?" he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, "There's
got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

Source

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Friend Image 50 Cent - NEW SINGLE - I GET IT IN OFFICER RICKY - GO AHEAD & TRY ME! NEW SONG ON THISIS50.COM NOW! DOWNLOAD & EMBED! http://ping.fm/5Isuk

45MORE MINUTES! YEAH! STRIPPING. EVERYTHING MUST GO. LMAO OK JKING

LAST DAY!! SLEEP

rain rain yeah!

He gatherf her close, and the instant twisting in his gut mocked his light tone. "if i'd bothered to make dessert, you'd be bgging 4m3

"you`re a renegade. The kind who doesn`t just refuse to play by the rules, but rejoices in breaking them."

When his eyes met hers, thehe was a smile in them. "why don`t i show you a...less serious way to drink champagne?" he tilted his glass and had a trickle of cool wine sliding over her breast.

When his eyes met hers, thehe was a smile in them. "why don`t i show you a...less serious way to drink champagne?" he tilted his glass and had a trickle of cool wine sliding over her breast.

'Expand and Protect Your Turf'

50 keeps the contestants on their toes by switching up teams and making several surprise eliminations.

50 Cent: The Money and The Power - MTV Shows

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in
having lots to do and not doing it.

reading 'night tales' nora roberts

Not feeling well

HAPPY 2009

whoa man the rush is over!!!! O:-)

Naughty service got it out 4me again. Techs take care of my lil problem!

'Use Your Cents to Make Change' - 50 Cent: The Money and the Power | Ep. 106

'Use Your Cents to Make Change'

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Like Georgia in hell

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity.

At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man,and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing louder than ever,twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered,

"Cold day in hell, the Falcons must be in the SuperBowl!"

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Why do ppl wait to the end of ones shift, to bring the stress off #@! Just 2 pist one off? Clock out! One did. Lol

hope today will be better.

cards cards cards. lol damn! i cant think. am i coming or going. cards cards. n they wait on me. lol. refuse other clerks. lol damn

god! day2day is a pain.

50 Cent: The Money and the Power | Ep. 105

50 Cent: The Money and the Power

Ep. 105 'The Hustler's Eye'

Team Money and Team Power experience a major shift in their team dynamics.

50 Cent: The Money and The Power - MTV Shows

naughty machines driving me crazy!!! grrr

public bus. damn its cold

GRRR! I WANT TO GO HOME.....NOW!

One more day

Call me the card lady. Yes its that time of year. Xmas cards. Nxt year order cards lol starting 01/01/09. All in a days work

Police Academy

Image via Wikipedia

A lisping police chief inspires a new set of cadets. Molly Shannon makes a guest appearance.

Jim Carrey

Happy Thansgiving

Words of Wisdom...
Money can't buy happiness, but it does quiet the nerves.

Legal Shmegal...
"No tendency is quite so strong in human nature as the desire
to lay down rules of conduct for other people."
-- William Howard Taft

Image via Wikipedia

Husbands Performance

Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performance as lovers.The first woman says "My husband works as a marriage counsellor.He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. I like that."

The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic.He likes to play rough and slaps me around sometimes. I kinda like that."

The third woman just shakes her head and says, "My husband is a sales man. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."

Husbands Performance

Quotes...
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to take root in
the world is for enough good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke


"If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give
it more thought."
--Dennis Roch

Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?

I Am Just A Normal Guy But All My Dreams Are Kinky

Image by nickso2 via FlickrHere is a weird funny song I wrote a while ago, and to this day cannot put it to music - that makes it a poem.

I Am Just A Normal Guy But
All My Dreams Are Kinky

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
I don't understand it, it's to normal things I'm geared
By day my life is sane, but at night my dreams are weird

I'm just a normal fella who goes off to work each day
I do my job, lunch with my mates, each week collect my pay
But in the night I dread the bed, each night is just the same
Cause all my dreams are kinky, one overnight sick game.

I'm dressed in a G-string tied in a bow
There's a chicken in a garter belt, Oh God no!
Birds fly by and wolf whistle overhead
Don't roll over there's a roo in the bed ...

15 Strippers all in a row
All with bra-straps ready to blow
One pretty lady dancin' in my lap
Don't you touch or you'll get a nasty slap.

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
I think one day when I was small, Ma dropped me in the sink
By day I'm just a normal sod, by all my dreams are kinked

I'd like to have a girlfriend, but it just never does work out
We get on fine until they find what my night dreams are about
Then they drop me like a stone, they say they can't compete
With nude three-breasted women with vibrators on their feet

Hippos in tutus, hot oil & cream
Chains and whips all to make me scream
Lizards & snakes all in strange places
They're gettin' it on & making lewd faces

When dreaming the nightclubs everywhere
Are chock full of animals in underwear
Teddy Bears in teddies, wombats in hot pants
All we need now is a couple thousand ants

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
My life could be near perfect, my life could be real fun
If only when I slept the chorus girls weren't dressed like nuns

I went to see a famous shrink, to straighten out my head
I told him if I can't get fixed I might as well be dead
He laid me down & said "tell me of your erotic dreams"
I said "One feather is erotic, not whole chickens soaked in cream!"

There are female wrestlers all covered in jelly
Exotic dancers doing things with their bellies
A cute sexy lady, covered in mud
Whispers in my ear with the voice of Elmer Fudd

There are strong males strippers with bricks in their jocks
With all those square corners they couldn't be socks
This stuff all around me is one kinky dream
Whatever you imagine I'm sure to have a theme

I guess it is my lot to life, can't beat it so I'll join
I suppose that they are only dreams they don't even cost a coin
So if at night you happen to hear me in my sleep
Just think, "that lucky bugger, is dancing naked tending sheep."

I'm just a normal guy, just as plain as one can be.
My Mum & Dad were average folks, & that's how they raised me
I don't under stand it, it's to normal things I'm geared
By day my life is sane, but at night my dreams are weird

Copyright; 1998 S. L. (Woody) Meltcher

Link: Funny Poems and Poetry

1 more hour. yeah i go home

Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute ... I'll find someone.

Image by Capture Queen ™ via Flickr

Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute ...
I'll find someone.

Image via Wikipedia

Put it back in the hole

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.He says,"Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board.Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole.The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."

Link: JokesUnlimited

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

50 CENT urges fans not to take infighting between rappers too seriously, because it's in their nature to behave like boxers.

The In Da Club hitmaker has enjoyed high profile feuds with a number of his rap contemporaries.

But he insists there's no real hatred in hip hop.

Fiddy explains, "A lot of the back and forth you hear is just the competitiveness. Rappers condition themselves like fighters."

11/16/2008 11:33:40 PM

Also see: 50 Cent

Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?

Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

Put it in his mouth

Put it in his mouth

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top its head.

The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals, unscathedas promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer."I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar."I'll try..." said a small woman, "But you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle!"

Link: http://ping.fm/7fSNk

Happy HUMP days!!!!!!

Quotes...
Give me a place to stand on and I will move the earth. -
Archimedes, Greek mathematician

You're just jealous because the voices talk to me. lol well they do!

Doctors Orders

Doctors Orders

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"“He said you're going to die," she replied.
Link: http://ping.fm/jmywo

Daddy back!

The Love Dress

The Love Dress

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home from work any minute."

The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the way home she thought about the love dress. When she got home she
undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door.

Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress" she replied.

"Needs ironing." he said. (MEAN MEAN MAN)

Link:http://ping.fm/82o2Q

Marriage is an institution. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage
is an institution for the blind. lol Amen

Politics:
What is new in our time is the increased power of the
authorities to enforce their own prejudices.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
mistake when you make it again.

A Lesson in Church

A Lesson in Church

A man and his wife were sitting in church, the man was sleeping and his wife was knitting.The priest asked "Who created the Earth and man?"The woman poked the man with her knitting needle and the man screamed, "GOD!"The Priest looked at him and said, "That's right."
Then he asked "Who is God's son?"Once more the woman poked her husband with the needle, he woke up and screamed, "Jesus Christ!" Again, the priest said, "Correct."
Finally, the priest asked, "What did Eve say to Adam when she didn't want any more children?"The knitter poked her husband again, but this time he screamed "Poke me with that thing one more time and I'm going to rip it off!"The priest smiled and said, "That's right."

Link: http://ping.fm/9G3Dj

breaks boring. forgot my reading activity. protesting against my computer. he been bad. crashing. the recovered. bad fiddy!lol his nam

day almost over.