The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually
fearing you will make one.
One-Liners...
Life's too short to argue, I'm ALWAYS right!
20. The cucumber has left the salad.
19. I can see the gun of Navarone.
18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17. You've got Windows on your laptop.
16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
13. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
And the number one way to tell someone their fly is unzipped...
1. I thought you were crazy, now I see your nuts.
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99 Condoms
A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter
where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she
finally gets around to helping him he says, "I'd like 99
condoms please."
With a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says, "99
Condoms!?! Fuck me!"
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