Cant get to sleep.. going on 5am..

Halle Berry’s Guys Choice Awards Speech (Makes Out With Jamie Foxx)

Full Article: http://ping.fm/UpTTR

Astrological After-sex Comments

Astrological After-sex Comments

Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"                              <<<<<YUMM YUMM
Taurus: "I'm hungry pass the pizza."
Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"                                     <<<<<Yup one nighter Oh yeah
Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."                       <<<<<<<<<Married, MOVING ON 
Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."                              <<<<<RUNNNNNNNNNNNN
Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."                  <<<<< NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sagittarius: "Don't call me I'll call you."                  <<<<<GRRRRRRRRRRRR
Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"
Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"
Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"  <<<<<<lol Go Pisce

On the menu

On the menu

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
---------------------------------
Cheese Sandwich $ 1.50
Chicken Sandwich $ 2.50
Hand Job $10.00
---------------------------------
Checking his wallet he finds one single ten dollar bill.
He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am!"
The man replies "Well go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

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How many babies?

How many babies?

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, "Congratulations, sir. You're the father of twins!"
"What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!"
Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second father on the birth of his triplets.
"Wow! That's incredible! I work for the 3M Corporation."
An hour later, the nurse returned to congratulate the third man on the
birth of his quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"
After this, everyone turned to the fourth guy who had just fainted. The nurse rushed to his side. As he slowly gained consciousness, they could hear him mutter over and over, "I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job...."

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Scotsman at a baseball game

Scotsman at a baseball game

A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....Run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"
The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!"
All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."
After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!

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Answering Machine...

Answering Machine...
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I
should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

Quotes...

Quotes...
A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a
typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind
and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it
about. (from Mostly Harmless) - Douglas Adams

A friend is a present you give to yourself. - Robert Louis Stevenson .. Shwana = and some presents not required...

Happy dads day

Your personality

Money for

Money for panties

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day.
As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.

The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."

The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.

Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.

As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.

The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.

The priest hands the lady $1 and says...
"Lady, take this money and for God's sake, go buy yourself a razor!"
View Original Link Unmentionables

The cruise

The cruise

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.

They searched for days and couldn't find her. So the captain sent the old man home with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the ship.
It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife had died in the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and found an oyster attached to her butt. Inside it was a pearl worth $50,000.
Please advise?"

The old man faxed back: Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!
View Original Link Cruise

50 Cent Nabs 'Jerkyll and Hyde' Role - ARTISTdirect News

50 Cent Nabs 'Jerkyll and Hyde' Role

Mon, 18 May 2009 10:15:17

Right alongside Forest Whitaker

50 Cent Nabs 'Jerkyll and Hyde' Role

Forest Whitaker and 50 Cent have been tapped as the lead roles in a modern update on The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Dubbed Jekyll and Hyde, it's being produced by Brett Walsh of Glasshouse Pictures and Randall Emmett of Cheetah Vision Films.


"The combination of such formidable talent in front of and behind the camera," executive producer Luc Roeg told Variety, "will turn this wonderful gothic story into a modern classic for a whole new generation."

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—The ARTISTdirect Staff

05.18.09