Asylum fence

Asylum fence

A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"

He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can't help but wonder why they are chanting "Thirteen!" over and over. Could it be that they are chugging beer? Are they perhaps taking turns beating one of the inmates? Maybe they are counting the number of patients that have leapt off of the roof thus far.

His curiosity peaks and he frantically searches for a hole in the fence so that he may see what is going on. Finally, he spots one a few feet ahead. The hole is low in the fence and he has to kneel down to peer inside.

He moves into position and peeks into the hole. As he looks in, someone inside pokes him in the eye! Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!" "jokes

From: http://ping.fm/orARz

In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of
them you can get through, but how many can get through to you.
. - Mortimer Adler--American philosopher quote

Growing Old...

Growing Old...
I'm so depressed...I went to the Dr.today and he refused to
write me a prescription for Viagra. Said it would be like putting
a new flagpole on a condemned building.

LMAO.. OK REQUEST BEEN FILLED..
GOOD NITE.. LST 1 DID IT FOR ME.. HEHE

#Humor

Proverbs...

Proverbs...
Many complain of their looks, but none of their brains.

Life's Quips...
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have
never forgotten this.

One-Liners...
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.-Groucho Marx
#Humor

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.-Groucho Marx

Quotes

Quotes...
A friend is a present you give to yourself. - Robert Louis
Stevenson


Quotes...
"The believer is happy. The doubter is wise."
-- Hungarian proverb


School...
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small
minds discuss people.
#siglets

One-Liners...
Make every day good to the last drop.. nobody gets out alive in
the end anyway!
#One-Liner-Humor

Todays siglets

Quotes...
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what
feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist
whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a
doormat. - Rebecca West, 1913


Love...
"Darling," she whispered after they had finished making love,
"Will you still make love like that to me after we're married
?"He considered this for a moment, and then replied, "I think
so. I've always been especially fond of married women." (MyShwana's LHAO)


Friends stab you in the back.
True friends stab you in the front.
Best friends help you kick their asses.
#Humor

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more
often. (Hehe)
#Relationships

As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they
reward me in many ways to keep me quiet
#quotes

Life's Quips...
Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its
students.
#status

Bus load of politicians

Bus load of politicians

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn.
The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.

The old farmer told him he had buried them.

The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?"

The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."
#Humor

From: http://ping.fm/KGNcz

Funeral arrangements

Funeral arrangements

Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.

"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'."

"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.

"The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably."

"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for anice funeral 'I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."

"And the third envelope?" asked her friends.
"The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, 'Please use this to buy a nice stone.'"

Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said...
"So, do you like my stone?" showing off her 10 carat diamond ring.
#Humor

From: http://ping.fm/zPSfC

The lumberjack

The lumberjack

A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.

The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to scram.

"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack.
"Take your axe and go cut it down!"

The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the little man.

The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.

The little man laughed and answered back...
"Oh sure, that's what they call it now!
#jokes, Humor,

From: http://ping.fm/00MZg

One-Liners...

One-Liners...
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you
can't wipe your friends on the couch.
#jokes, one-Liners

Words of Wisdom...
A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a
typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind
and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it
about. (from Mostly Harmless) - Douglas Adams

Growing Old...
Life is what passes you by while you're busy making other
plans.

YouTube - 50 Cent Offers Kanye a Knuckle Sandwich

Just a big fan, and my boy at it again

From: http://ping.fm/zAON6

Funny Speeding Joke

Funny Speeding Joke
Posted on July 4, 2009 by quotes

Speeding?

A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an
hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following
her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.

When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles
following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she
looked around, there were three cops following her.

Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She
screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies’ room. Ten
minutes later, she innocently walked out.

The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Then,
without batting an eye, she said coyly, “I’ll bet none of
you thought I would make it.

From: http://ping.fm/L4PjP

Top 10 Motivational Posters Of All Time | Funny and Jokes (http://ping.fm/uPbrJ)

A Marriage Made In Heaven | Funny and Jokes

One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole – killing them both instantly.

Saint Peter In Heaven JokeThe couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he’ll get back with them on that request.

A month later, St. Peter finds them and announces that they can – in fact – get arried in Heaven. To his suprise, the woman asks “Just wondering, if things don’t work out will we be able to get a divorce?”

With a stern look in his eye, Peter blurts out “Look lady, it took me a month to find a preacher up here… you really think I’m gonna find a lawyer?”


From: http://ping.fm/NVSrv

Crazy Act of Bravery by Police Officer

Crazy Act of Bravery by Police Officer
June 22nd, 2009 · 10 Comments

Here is a strange little story about bravery in the line of duty? Real brave officers tasers a 72 year old woman?

A 72-year-old woman who refused to sign her speeding ticket got out of her truck and dared a deputy to shock her with a Taser. So he did. Video released by a Travis County Constable’s Office shows Kathryn Winkfein hitting the ground and moaning while the shocks jolted through her body after the May 11 confrontation with Travis County Sheriff’s Deputy Chris Bieze.

Winkfein was stopped for driving 60 mph (96 kilometre) in a 45-mph (72-kilometre) zone just west of Austin. A dashboard camera in the deputy’s car shows the 4-foot-11 (1.5 metres) Winkfein refusing to sign her speeding ticket, getting out of her white pickup truck and cursing at the deputy constable.

Bieze then pushes her to get her away from traffic. “If you don’t step back, you’re going to get Tased,” Bieze says. “Go ahead, Tase me,” Winkfein says. “I dare you.”

The video shows Bieze using the Taser and Winkfein hitting the ground and moaning in pain. “Put your hands behind your back or you’re going to be Tased again,” Bieze yells, and then hits her with another jolt. Travis County Sheriff Greg Hamilton, whose office does not oversee the constables, issued a statement Wednesday saying:

“I do not personally agree with the actions of the deputy constable as they are shown in the video. When I look at the video I am in awe of what happened.” Winkfein was eventually charged with resisting arrest, a misdemeanour punishable by up to a year in jail and fines up to $4,000.

A telephone message left with Constable Sgt. Maj. Gary Griffin of the constable’s office was not immediately returned Wednesday. Telephone calls to a number listed for Kathryn Winkfein in Marble Falls, about 50 miles (80 kilometres) west of Austin, went unanswered.

Griffin has defended Bieze’s actions and said that Winkfein was belligerent and difficult to handle. Winkfein previously told Austin television station KTBC that she didn’t believe she deserved to be shocked. “I wasn’t argumentative, I was not combative. This is a lie,” she told the station. This cop should definitely receive a medal for this act of bravery, I am sure his fellow officers will not let him live this one down.

Tags: Of the Weird · Offbeat Stuff · Might Be True · Odd Accomplisments

From: http://ping.fm/F2v6L

wake up? why? life 2 long

Jason Statham as 'Hitman 47' - Fan Made Movie trailer

Love the Guy Jason Statham

Baller Alert New NBA 2K10 Screenshots - Hip Hop Board (http://ping.fm/asg69)

$2,100 phone has the heart of a $15 phone | DVICE (http://ping.fm/9Kc0D)

golden years

Blog title...50 Cent Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson In New Songs

50 Cent Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson In New Songs

'Rest in peace to Michael Jackson,' Fif says in one of two dropped Friday morning. By Shaheem Reid

50 Cent Photo: MTV News

50 Cent is the first artist to pay tribute to Michael Jackson in song since the King of Pop died Thursday. Fif released the first two records from his mixtape Forever King on Friday (June 26) morning.

The first, "Respect It or Check It N---a," is vintage hard-core 50. He talks about coming up in the streets as a youngster and how he has evolved, and adds at the end, "Rest in peace to Michael Jackson ... You n---as need me, man. I might have to start moonwalking. A couple of dance moves and sh--, might be some sh-- called 'Billie Jean Is My Lover.' I'm back, n---a!"

The second song is called "Where You Are," and it takes directly from Jackson's historic catalog. The G-Unit General raps over the 1972 track "I Wanna Be Where You Are."

"They say I ain't lyrical, they say I ain't a miracle. I say some hard sh--, so they say I ain't spiritual," the self-proclaimed King of Rap rhymes. "They act like they know God better than me/ I know 'God Allah,' he used to pump crack up the streets."

50 goes on to vent about those in the 'hood doubting him because of his over-the-top financial status. The Southside, Queens, native then gives way to the King of Pop, and we hear Jackson's timeless vocals.

"Can it be I stayed away too long?/ Did I leave your mind when I was gone?/ It's not my thing trying to get back/ But this time let me tell you where I'm at/ You don't have to worry 'cause I'm coming/ Back to where I should have always stayed/ And now I've heard the maybe to your story/ And it's enough love for me to stay."

Don't miss "A Celebration of Michael Jackson on MTV," airing at 6 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.

Share your Michael Jackson memories by uploading video and comments to Your.MTV.com or joining the discussion below.

Related Videos

• 50 Cent's Musical Michael Jackson Tribute

Related Artists

• Michael Jackson
  
• 50 Cent

View Original Article

Cant get to sleep.. going on 5am..

Halle Berry’s Guys Choice Awards Speech (Makes Out With Jamie Foxx)

Full Article: http://ping.fm/UpTTR

Astrological After-sex Comments

Astrological After-sex Comments

Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"                              <<<<<YUMM YUMM
Taurus: "I'm hungry pass the pizza."
Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"                                     <<<<<Yup one nighter Oh yeah
Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."                       <<<<<<<<<Married, MOVING ON 
Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."                              <<<<<RUNNNNNNNNNNNN
Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."                  <<<<< NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sagittarius: "Don't call me I'll call you."                  <<<<<GRRRRRRRRRRRR
Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"
Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"
Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"  <<<<<<lol Go Pisce

On the menu

On the menu

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
---------------------------------
Cheese Sandwich $ 1.50
Chicken Sandwich $ 2.50
Hand Job $10.00
---------------------------------
Checking his wallet he finds one single ten dollar bill.
He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am!"
The man replies "Well go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

View Original Link

How many babies?

How many babies?

Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man, "Congratulations, sir. You're the father of twins!"
"What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!"
Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second father on the birth of his triplets.
"Wow! That's incredible! I work for the 3M Corporation."
An hour later, the nurse returned to congratulate the third man on the
birth of his quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply, "I don't believe it! I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"
After this, everyone turned to the fourth guy who had just fainted. The nurse rushed to his side. As he slowly gained consciousness, they could hear him mutter over and over, "I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job...."

View Original Source

Scotsman at a baseball game

Scotsman at a baseball game

A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....Run!"
The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"
A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"
The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!"
All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."
After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!

View Original Link

Answering Machine...

Answering Machine...
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I
should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

Quotes...

Quotes...
A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a
typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind
and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it
about. (from Mostly Harmless) - Douglas Adams

A friend is a present you give to yourself. - Robert Louis Stevenson .. Shwana = and some presents not required...

Happy dads day

Your personality

Money for

Money for panties

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day.
As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties.

The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on."

The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened.

Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dresses and runs out to the church.

As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.

The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly.

The priest hands the lady $1 and says...
"Lady, take this money and for God's sake, go buy yourself a razor!"
View Original Link Unmentionables

The cruise

The cruise

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.

They searched for days and couldn't find her. So the captain sent the old man home with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.

Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the ship.
It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife had died in the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck, and found an oyster attached to her butt. Inside it was a pearl worth $50,000.
Please advise?"

The old man faxed back: Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap!
View Original Link Cruise

50 Cent Nabs 'Jerkyll and Hyde' Role - ARTISTdirect News

50 Cent Nabs 'Jerkyll and Hyde' Role

Mon, 18 May 2009 10:15:17

Right alongside Forest Whitaker

50 Cent Nabs 'Jerkyll and Hyde' Role

Forest Whitaker and 50 Cent have been tapped as the lead roles in a modern update on The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Dubbed Jekyll and Hyde, it's being produced by Brett Walsh of Glasshouse Pictures and Randall Emmett of Cheetah Vision Films.


"The combination of such formidable talent in front of and behind the camera," executive producer Luc Roeg told Variety, "will turn this wonderful gothic story into a modern classic for a whole new generation."

View Original Source
—The ARTISTdirect Staff

05.18.09

HAPPY HOLIDAY.

Or What?

A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn’t had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doc asks her what’s wrong, and why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband anymore.

The wife tells him, “For the past 6 months, every morning I take a cab to work. I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me, ‘So are you going to pay today or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’. When I get to work I’m late so the boss asks me, ‘So are we going to write this down in the book or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’.

Back home again I take the cab and again I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me again, ‘So are you going to pay this time or what?’ so again I take a ‘or what’. So you see doc when I get home I’m all tired out, and I don’t want it any more.”

The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, “So are we going to tell your husband or what?”

This joke provided courtesy of FunnyandJokes.com, all rights reserved.

Similar Funny Jokes You Might Like:

1. My Stomach Hurts A man with a bad stomach ache goes to his...
2. The Delivery A married couple went to the hospital together to have...
3. Birthday Suit A wife was begining to worry about her and her...
   View Original Article

Study Ball brings seriously old school methods to child rearing

You can try using positive reinforcement to get your kids to study. But what if that doesn't work? Well then, it's time to try some more medieval methods.

The study ball is a literal ball and chain that comes equipped with a timer. Simply set how long you want your little miscreant to study and attach the ball to their ankle. When the time is up, it'll unlock, allowing them to leave their rooms. Until then, however, it's study time. Or trying to run out of a burning house with a ball and chain time, but let's just hope that doesn't happen.

Curiosite via Gizmodo

View Original Article

Hi George!

A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her

company at home.

She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it

wouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it would be fun

to hear it speak. She went to a pet shop and immediately

spotted a large beautiful parrot.



She went to the owner of the store and asked how much.

The owner said it was $50. Delighted that such a rare looking

and beautiful bird wasn't more expensive, she agreed to buy it.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first

that this bird used to live in a whorehouse. Sometimes it says

pretty vulgar stuff."



The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the

bird. She said she would buy it anyway.

The petshop owner sold her the bird and she took it home.

She hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it

to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her,

and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought

that's not so bad.

A couple hours later, the woman's two teenage daughters returned

from school. When they inspected the bird, it looked at them and

said, "New house, new madam, new whores."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended at first, but than

began to laugh about the situation. A couple of hours later, the

woman's husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and

said, "New house, new madam, new whores, Hi George!"
View Original Article

The cats diary

The cats diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan ......

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

Source: http://ping.fm/JYcr5

Cowboy Boots

Cowboy Boots

An elderly couple is vacationing in the West.

Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.

Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them back to the hotel, walking proudly.

He walks into their hotel room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Helen?"

Helen looks him over, "Nope."

Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Helen, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?"

Helen looks again, "Nope."

Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots.

Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything
DIFFERENT?"

Helen looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, HELEN? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"

To which Helen replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam, shoulda bought a hat."

Original Source: http://ping.fm/UmqNk

BEAM ME UP SCOtTy

Work...
Words are powerful things. They can make someone feel ten feet
tall, or two inches small. Choose your words wisely and well.

I'd love to live life in the fast lane... unfortunately, I'm
married to a speedbump. (lmao) did i copy that?

Has Amazon Started a Price War?

Has Amazon Started a Price War?
Thursday April 9, 2009

This week, the iTunes Store started selling its 10 million+ songs without DRM copy protection (aka iTunes Plus) and introduced its new variable pricing structure. Operating at three pricing levels, you can purchase a song for $0.79, $0.99, or $1.29 depending on factors such as a song's age and popularity. The problem is, if you want to purchase a top 100 track, you'll now have to pay $1.29 instead of $0.99. You may argue that the extra 30 cents is worth it for a DRM-free track, and you'd probably have a good point - until you check out Amazon's prices.

In the highly competitive music downloads market, Amazon has ensured that the cost of most of its popular selling tracks are below the asking price of the iTunes Store. At the time of writing, Black Eyed Peas 'Boom Boom Pow' single for example is 30 cents cheaper if purchased from Amazon MP3. Another top selling single, Blame It (Featuring T. Pain) by Jamie Foxx, can also be downloaded from the Amazon MP3 store for 99 cents compared to $1.29 from the iTunes Store.

Wal-Mart also has a pricing structure that is more competitive than Apple. Songs can be purchased using their 3-tier system for $0.64, $0.94, and $1.24. How long before other music services feel the strain and join in on the looming price war
Source: http://ping.fm/wmJZk

Idiot rescue

Idiot rescue

Once upon a time there were two men who had gone cliff climbing.
Suddenly, one man lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. The other man frantically screamed, "Roger!", and was relieved to hear a faint reply.

"Okay Rodge," shouted Barry, "I'm gonna throw a rope down to you, so wrap it 'round one of your legs and.." but before he could finish, he heard Roger call "But both my legs are broke."

Barry suggested his arms, to which the reply was "They're broken too!" So finally, Roger held on with his mouth. Barry struggled to pull up the rope, and when he was nearly there, Barry said, "You right there mate?" to which Rodger replied,"YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS........"
View Original
http://ping.fm/mZ2Rm

How can U tell da rain not 2 fall when clouds exist?

How can U tell da leaves not 2 fall when wind exist?

How can U tell me not 2 fall in frndship when U exist.

View Original Article

Stimulus spurs growth in green jobs

Experts agree that green jobs are real, they�re nationwide and they�re multiplying. There are 750,000 to 4 million green jobs available in America � and the sector is growing quickly.

View Original Article

Story continues below ?

2Funny...

Check this out:

Larry Flynt, owner and publisher of the US pornographic

magazine "Hustler" has publicly offered Kenneth Starr a

job</div><p><a href="http://ping.fm/L2wpY">View Original Article</a></p>

�DREAMS visit us when we r asleep� but GOD is truly wise�. He wakes us up each day & gives us every chance 2 make our DREAMS come true!

View Original Article

Ciara Talks Steamy 'Love Sex Magic' Video With Justin Timberlake 'I had to lick his ear and do all that fun stuff,' singer says of track from Fantasy Ride

NEW YORK � As if Justin Timberlake weren't already one of the luckiest guys in the world, he had to "suffer" through grueling take after take during Ciara's steamy video shoot for "Love Sex Magic."



"Let me tell you � it's so funny, I have to say this," Ciara said to MTV News over the weekend. "I had to lick his ear and do all that fun stuff and bite it. And he had a moment where he was kind of licking on my neck. We were both going back and forth. We were really just freestyling. And Miss Diane [Martel, the director] wanted something edgy, and we all wanted to find a cool way to do it. And that just felt right.



"It was really funny because you would have moments where she would go, 'What we're gonna do now is the licking and the kissing on the neck and we're gonna do this take, then cut. OK, we need one more take of that,' " Ciara continued. "And so it's licking on the neck, again, then his biting on my neck, again. It was really funny."



The fellas might not exactly be cracking up at JT's misfortune, but Ciara said the entire experience of working with Timberlake was by far one of the best of her young career. Timberlake, who is featured on the song, also co-produced "Love Sex Magic" � from her Fantasy Ride LP, out Tuesday (May 5) � and had a hand in writing the number. Ciara said she rarely has a chance to actually venture into the studio to collaborate with artists; usually, the opportunity for a guest to contribute arises after she's recorded a song.



"I actually went into the studio to make the record from scratch, or he had the record there for me, but us being together was a very rare case I've had over the years," she explained. "It was really, really fun. He's very passionate about the work and down to earth. His attitude is just amazing.



"I was very excited about sprinkling that flavor on the album, because this record is about sharing the many sides of me and I wanted to make sure there was something for everybody on it and that record is another reflection of where I'm at [right now]."

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Swine Flu Survival Kit: 5 essential websites

Swine flu seems to be popping up all over the globe, and so is information (and misinformation) about it. Cooler heads prevail here at DVICE, where we've decided to use the power of technology and the Web to help us survive the deadly outbreak.

Here's where to find reliable information, and where not to go for updates:

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50 Cent/ Fall Out Boy Tour Is Off To An Uneven Start

50 has performed at one of three scheduled gigs so far.
By James Montgomery

50 Cent


Photo: Jordan Strauss/WireImage

It seemed like an odd pairing from the day it was announced: 50 Cent and Fall Out Boy, sharing the stage for a spring tour. And so far, things have played out a little unevenly.

Fif, who was scheduled to appear at a total of five dates on FOB's Believers Never Die, Part Deux Tour, has made it to the stage for just one of the three gigs that have already taken place. After appearing in Dallas on Friday, he pulled out of Wednesday night's show in Orlando, Florida, due to "scheduling conflicts," and although the other date thus far � April 18 in Houston � was canceled due to inclement weather, some are speculating that 50 has dropped off the tour altogether.

So we reached out to Fall Out Boy's and 50 Cent's camps to find out what's up.

"He played the first date [April 17 in Dallas] ... then we had to cancel the whole show in Houston, but I saw him there too," FOB's Pete Wentz told MTV News in an e-mail. "[The Orlando show] was canceled due to studio obligations. From what I currently know, he'll be back for the others. It surprised me how easygoing he and his crew was. They put on a great show and the crowd was screaming the whole time."

FOB manager Bob McLynn added in an e-mail, "He's doing all the dates. He had to cancel Orlando at the last minute because he had to get back into the studio. He was there in Houston, but we had electrical storms and because it was outdoors the whole show was canceled. He will be at the remaining shows."

At press time, a spokesperson for 50 Cent's label, Interscope Records, could not be reached for comment on the tour.

The two remaining 50 Cent/ Fall Out Boy shows are a Friday-night gig at the deliciously-named Bojangles Coliseum in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the following night at the Merriweather Post Pavilion in Columbia, Maryland.

Related Artists

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  50 Cent
  


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CIARA'S HEIGHT SCARES OFF MEN

<p></p><div><p><img src="http://ping.fm/Y8gtO*VkLsfF0zgM-w1Gflmt1Scry/ciara_2386491.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="621" /></p>




According to Contactmusic.com, �R&B singer CIARA is worried she won't find a man - because of her height.



The Goodies star stands at more than 5ft 9in (1.55 metres), towering over most men she comes across.



And she's scared that her domineering height frightens off potential suitors.



She says, "Some guys are nervous about speaking to me. Maybe it's because I'm five foot nine-and-a-half. Since I've been doing music I don't really get asked out much."�</div><p><a href="http://ping.fm/FuR5K">View Original Article</a></p>

50 Cent & Chace Crawford in the NY Post

<p></p><div><p><img src="http://ping.fm/BrBzi*fDjpb4FfOfvSkFWz5D2ELl5LIgR51CGISWahUeM9GOcpAfzbDOC0Mn6e-g2hX97vq09u3KCFpH58UdFo9Q1Wgfglza/post.JPG" alt="" width="600" height="401" /></p>


50 Cent and "Gossip Girl" star, Chace Crawford hang out on location in New York while filming their new movie "Twelve."



<p><img src="http://ping.fm/lhBRY*km3ClQtdNBAiABQDeRraeBtml9ejsOuMktzf2ka8MbYKw0Qr/50_chace.jpg" alt="" width="278" height="219" /></p></div><p><a href="http://ping.fm/IqiWB">View Original Article</a></p>

Obama touts 'new foundation'

President Barack Obama marks his 100th day in office by laying the groundwork for a �New Foundation for growth� that would support a recession-wracked economy �built on a pile of sand.�

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Before watching Lost's 100th episode tonight, check out 15 other sci-fi milestones

Tonight, the TV show Lost hits the milestone of its 100th episode. Few sci-fi TV shows manage to reach 100 episodes�for example, even the long-running Quantum Leap only made it to 96�but when they do, we always look forward to it. The cast and crew will often have a big party, and the viewers are usually given a special episode to enjoy, something with stunt casting or major plot developments.

But that wasn't always the case. The 100th episode of The Twilight Zone was Ray Bradbury's "I Sing the Body Electric" (May 18, 1962) but nothing special was done for it, possibly because the program was an anthology show. Neither were the 100th episodes of Bewitched (March 9, 1967) or I Dream of Jeannie (January 6, 1969) anything special. The 100th serial of the original Doctor Who, "Stones of Blood," (October-November 1978) almost had a scene with a cake to celebrate the Doctor's 751st birthday, but in the end the show runners felt that it would be too self-indulgent to acknowledge the milestone.

Times have changed, however, and in the 1990s, sci-fi series began to offer special 100th episodes. Here, in chronological order, are 15 of sci-fi's most memorable 100th episodes:

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FluGen creates a painless gadget for delivering swine flu vaccine

There might be a Swine Flu shot in the near future for you, but who wants to get stabbed by a sharp needle? It makes us dizzy just thinking about it. But help could be on the way. The brainiacs at FluGen figured out a way to deliver vaccine just under the skin, and not into the muscle, which is what hurts so much.

This nifty disposable micro device is a Swine Flu fighter that's about the size of a poker chip, and with a quick button press, its tiny pump sends the vaccine into a set of micro needles that are barely embedded into the top layer of your skin. You can hardly feel them.

While not the first idea of its type, FluGen's version is probably going to become reality soon, given the current Swine Flu outbreak. Even better news is that for some reason, this type of multi-pronged shallow injection is more effective against the flu. Also, more people will probably show up for the shot, since it's allegedly painless. Good timing � bring it on.

Via Reuters

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Kids....

A man and his son were traveling to the bank one Saturday
morning when they stopped at a corner. The little boy hearing a
"Beep..Beep..Beep" asked his dad where the sound was coming
from.

His dad replied that the sound was coming from a nearby dump
truck that was backing up and that sound was to warn people
behind it to get out of the way.

When they arrived at the bank the lines were long (as usual)
and so they got into one of the lines behind a rather large
lady.

All of a sudden another man's beeper started to go off and the
little boy with fear in his eyes said "Look out dad she's
backing up!"

Syringe USB drive is one way to store your data

Told'Cha Myshwana Was Alien.. Now untold secrets...

People love their wacky USB drives, don't they? And why shouldn't they? I mean, most computers don't have a ton of personality to separate them from what everybody else is using, so you might as well get accessories that help you stand out from the crowd.

One such accessory is this Syringe Flash Drive. It's a bit questionable, but hey, I'm not one to judge your ever-important computer peripheral choices. So if you want to show the world that you're into injections as well as convenient data storage, here you go.

Brando via Book of Joe

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Jay-Z: The Day Obama Got Elected, The Gangsta Became Less Relevant.

“Obama represents so much hope for blacks and Latinos. The hope he represents is bigger than any of the huge problems he could possibly correct,” he said. “When you have positive role models, you can change your life for the better. The day Obama got elected, the gangsta became less relevant.”

Source: Cigar Aficionado Magazine

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Eminem - 3 A.M.

New one from Eminem titled 3 A.M. which is said to be the second single off Relapse, check it out and give us your feedback.

I don’t know about this one y’all…..Lyrics are there but I don’t know about everything else.

Download:Eminem - 3 A.M.

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Military...
When in doubt empty the magazine.

Politics...
"Economics is an entire scientific discipline of not knowing
what you're talking about."

Opposite twins

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance

to each other was their looks. If one felt it
was too hot, the other thought it was too cold.
If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed
the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in
every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other
a doom & gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on the twins'
birthday their father loaded the pessimist's
room with every imaginable toy and game. The
optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.


That night the father passed by the pessimist's
room and found him sitting amid his new gifts
crying bitterly.

"Why are you crying?" the father asked.

"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have
to read all these instructions before I can do
anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need
batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken,"
answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin's room, the father
found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure.
"What are you so happy about?" he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, "There's
got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

Source

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Friend Image 50 Cent - NEW SINGLE - I GET IT IN OFFICER RICKY - GO AHEAD & TRY ME! NEW SONG ON THISIS50.COM NOW! DOWNLOAD & EMBED! http://ping.fm/5Isuk

45MORE MINUTES! YEAH! STRIPPING. EVERYTHING MUST GO. LMAO OK JKING

LAST DAY!! SLEEP

rain rain yeah!

He gatherf her close, and the instant twisting in his gut mocked his light tone. "if i'd bothered to make dessert, you'd be bgging 4m3

"you`re a renegade. The kind who doesn`t just refuse to play by the rules, but rejoices in breaking them."

When his eyes met hers, thehe was a smile in them. "why don`t i show you a...less serious way to drink champagne?" he tilted his glass and had a trickle of cool wine sliding over her breast.

When his eyes met hers, thehe was a smile in them. "why don`t i show you a...less serious way to drink champagne?" he tilted his glass and had a trickle of cool wine sliding over her breast.

'Expand and Protect Your Turf'

50 keeps the contestants on their toes by switching up teams and making several surprise eliminations.

50 Cent: The Money and The Power - MTV Shows

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in
having lots to do and not doing it.

reading 'night tales' nora roberts

Not feeling well

HAPPY 2009

whoa man the rush is over!!!! O:-)

Naughty service got it out 4me again. Techs take care of my lil problem!

'Use Your Cents to Make Change' - 50 Cent: The Money and the Power | Ep. 106

'Use Your Cents to Make Change'

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• 50 Cent the Money and the Power Mtv Series Video

Image via Wikipedia

Like Georgia in hell

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity.

At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man,and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing louder than ever,twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered,

"Cold day in hell, the Falcons must be in the SuperBowl!"

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Why do ppl wait to the end of ones shift, to bring the stress off #@! Just 2 pist one off? Clock out! One did. Lol

hope today will be better.

cards cards cards. lol damn! i cant think. am i coming or going. cards cards. n they wait on me. lol. refuse other clerks. lol damn

god! day2day is a pain.

50 Cent: The Money and the Power | Ep. 105

50 Cent: The Money and the Power

Ep. 105 'The Hustler's Eye'

Team Money and Team Power experience a major shift in their team dynamics.

50 Cent: The Money and The Power - MTV Shows

naughty machines driving me crazy!!! grrr

public bus. damn its cold

GRRR! I WANT TO GO HOME.....NOW!

One more day

Call me the card lady. Yes its that time of year. Xmas cards. Nxt year order cards lol starting 01/01/09. All in a days work

Police Academy

Image via Wikipedia

A lisping police chief inspires a new set of cadets. Molly Shannon makes a guest appearance.

Jim Carrey