Bucket and Saucer Method

Proverbs...
God could not be everywhere, and so He made mothers.
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Bucket and Saucer Method

Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says "We're Catholic so we can't use it."

The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm method."

The third woman says "We use the bucket and saucer method."

"What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?", the others ask.

"Well, I'm five foot eleven... and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket, and when his eyes get big as saucers I kick the bucket out from under him."

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Relationships...

"I was married by a judge...I should have asked for a jury." -

George Burns Quotes..

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Three Weddings

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.

Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.

On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter's bedroom and heard her screaming.

The mother thought to herself, "That's normal, especially on her wedding night."

She snuck by her second oldest daughter's room and heard her laughing.

"That's normal too," she said, smiling to herself.

Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter's room where she didn't hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.

The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night's noises. "Well Mom," she replied, "you always said if it hurt I should scream."

"You're absolutely right sweetheart," the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter. "Now why were you laughing?" she asked.

"You always said if it tickled, I could laugh," she answered.

"True enough, honey." The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days. "Now it's your turn, baby," she said turning to her youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"

"Mom, don't you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full."

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Jerry Springer, Maury, Martell or Cheaters are no help to me..

So my kids isn't suppose to be by my baby daddy (hehe),

for eleven and years i've been on the a search for my

kids father.. Well the baby daddy inform me, that my

kids are the Mail Man (LMAO) So, by god, after

eleven years...LMAO..

I HAVE FOUND MY BABY'S DADDY..

The Accused Mail Man

He Didnt Do It...

Stickam.Com

Express Yourself LIVE

Golf

Beginner Golf

Sid and Barney

Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf.Since they
are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes.Sid offers
Barney, "let's say we make the time worthwhile, at least for
one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day."Barney
agrees and they enjoy a great game. After the 8th hole, Barney
is ahead by 1 stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the
9th.

"Help me find my ball, you look over there," he says to Sid.
After 5 minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost
ball carries a four-point penalty, Barney pulls a ball from his
pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he
announces triumphantly.

Sid looks at him forlornly, "After all the years we've been
friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?!?"

"What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!"

"And a liar, too!!!" Sid says with amazement. "I'll have you
know I've been standing on your ball for the last five
minutes!"

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Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably.

The lesson is, never try. -- Homer Simpson

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